Patience, sacrifice, tolerance, and resilience are what you needed to survive as a woman in Pashtun society. Has there been a paradigm shift in an overall mindset about a woman’s status in this ultra-conservative society? Yes and No.
The factors such as “I am responsible for the dignity of my family”, “I am not physically strong as men are”, “A woman’s duty is inside the house, not outside of it”, “I might be misjudged for speaking and demanding for my rights”, and “I have to obey my husband even if he is wrong because he’s a man”, have held back the women of the country to reach their complete potential for years. However, things have begun to change.
Back in the past, as soon as a woman stepped out of her dwelling with a man after she got married, she could no longer claim ownership of the house she spent her entire life in.
Ironically, the house that she was taught to call her own after marriage, was also her husband’s. This bitter realization hit when a difference of opinion would take spot. The woman in that case could either stand strong in her stance or leave the house where she had served for years.
Her rights, as basic as getting an education or working outside the four walls of the house to practice her skills, were evaluated, judged, and approved or disapproved by her husband and his family. Moreover, men in the Pashtun society disapproved of empowered women as their male ego would not allow their women to be independent. The constant dependence on their women made them feel stronger.
This societal pressure and constant humiliation were the major reasons that many women in Pashtun society faced postmarital stress that led to life-long depression.
On the contrary . . .
With time, the Pashtun men have realized that their power does not lie in intimidating women with the authority they have. Modern Pashtun women have become independent and empowered. Be it the field of Information and technology, media, health, or on the borders, Pashtun women have stepped into every field with grace and compassion.
A perfect showcase of Pashtun women’s empowerment is Lt. Nigar of Sawabi District. Lieutenant General Nigar Johar Khan is a three-star general in the Pakistan Army. Nigar is the only woman in the history of the Pakistan Army to reach the rank of lieutenant-general, and the third to reach the rank of major general.
Although there are many examples of women in the Pashtun households being the complete authority of their lives as well as others, some are still belittled for what they are capable of. It will take time for the page to completely turn over but the process is underway.